One of the main problems I have encountered was the assumption that because I am attracted to both men and women – that I am somehow less of a faithful spouse.  Monogamy is monogamy no matter what sex I am in a relationship with – I don’t cheat.  One of the main reasons we had the discussion was because Desmond isn’t foolish – he knows that I’ll always be attracted to women and he told me straight out that he didn’t want me to feel stifled by our marriage.  We decided that if I really felt like I wasn’t happy we could talk about it and decide if it would be OK for me to have sex outside of our marriage, but I haven’t and really have no desire to, to be honest.  The important thing is that we had the conversation.  If I do feel like that, I won’t feel uncomfortable talking to Desmond about it and we can both make a decision together.   Once you get married, you’re a pair, a team.  That’s how I feel, anyways – like we’re conquering life together and what is best for one of us might not be best for both, so we need to take a step back and see what works for us.

I also think that people who chronically cheat are kidding themselves if they think they can settle down and get married and never do it again.  Sure, it might be a pipe dream for awhile, but once a cheater always a cheater.  Even worse? The people who are the “other woman” or “other man” first and then become husband and wife.  If s/he cheats WITH you, s/he’ll cheat on you.  Be honest with yourself and your partner – if you know that eventually you’re going to stray? Save yourself the headache and don’t get married.  Stay with your partner for as long as you’re happy in the relationship but don’t cheat.  Don’t be disrespectful to what you have together – break it off before you hop into bed with someone else.  It’s not rocket science here, kids.  It’s pretty clear what’s right and wrong.

“BUT I CAN’T GET RID OF L’ELEPHANT!”

L’ELEPHANT! is Ramona’s Babar that she got when she was born. It was a gift from my parents and it’s essentially her “blanket.” I asked her why she was so worried: “I’M TOO OLD FOR TOYS.” She’s 7. I assured her – no, you’re not too old for all toys, sweetheart, just some. L’Elephant is a special circumstance. He’s very special. Not all toys are as special as L’Elephant, I explained. Ramona showed me the box of toys she’d gathered to throw away/give away/etc. and it was nearly all her toys. She was clutching L’Elephant tearfully and I said, Ramona, let’s go through this box. We found plenty of toys she still loved but thought she was too old for – I can see so much of myself in her, including the anxiety. We’re going to have to keep an eye on it, I think. She’s already so serious and so thoughtful, but sometimes it can really do a number on my big girl. It’s hard to see your kid hurting over something so silly. Then I feel guilty because these are clearly my genes rearing their ugly head and then it all goes downhill from there.

What was the point of this post? Oh yeah, so we got rid of about ten medium sized boxes of stuff to the Goodwill which was great AND sold some furniture on Craigslist and now the fun begins – spring cleaning!

Really though – I’m telling Des tonight and I’ll let you know how that goes – I’m hoping he’ll be excited and it will spill over. I was so dead set on the idea that we were done that this new development has really jarred me. I still don’t know if I’m nervous, alarmed, or what. We’ll see. I hope he’s happy about it – whenever he is happy, it’s just infectious. He’s got this contagious laugh and he looks at you and you can’t help but smile.

He knows how to ‘smize’, too.

Of course there’s also part of me that is really excited to have a newborn! I know it wasn’t so long ago and the twins are still very young, but they’re not newborns anymore. They’re twin terrors at times, to be honest.

I’m still taking the idea of all of this in – it might turn out to be nothing, who knows?  I’m going out and buying the test(s) today and we’ll see.  I’d been putting it off because I was just so set that the twins were it for our family.  So much for that easy peasy snip poor Desmond had to go through – if it didn’t even take!

• Age 5 – nineteen stitches in my chin (fall down stairs)
• Age 7 – broken arm (skateboarding)
• Age 13 – broken leg (skiing)
• Age 14 – concussion (skiing)
• Age 16 – two broken wrists (track – hurdling)
• Age 17 – concussion (hockey)
• Age 18 – concussion (hockey)
• Age 20 – concussion (enthusiastic sex next to a bookshelf)

So basically, we’ve been lucky thus far to suffer only minor injures with the kids. If they’ve got even an ounce of my klutz gene in their bodies? We’ll we’re just out of luck then. Our first broken bone was bestowed upon Hesja – a broken finger, thanks to Georgia. The girls were playing footie and of course, a squabble broke out (those two just do not get along) and Georgia threw the football at Hesja, who tried to catch it, bless her and *crack*. Just her pinky finger though, no harm done. Went down to the doctor and got it all sorted and she’s good as new. She was quite upset that she only got ‘buddy taped’ instead of a full on cast. She’s been a bit melodramatic ever since. Woe is her and all that. I actually think I caught Emerson rolling his eyes at her, which, of course, made me crack up which OF COURSE, made her even MORE mad and pouty.

She’s in her room right now, probably contemplating all the different ways that a broken finger is going to affect her life. She’ll tell us all about them at dinner when daddy comes home.

It’s been POURING for days in Boston and I have to say – it’s been a real pain not being able to take the kids to the park. It’d been getting nice and now I just feel teased. It’s supposed to be lovely later this week though and as soon as the weather begins to turn the other way, we’re out the door. We did enjoy a puddle walk, though I was a bit nervous we’d all catch the death of cold after getting so soaked.

I’m also thinking about finally going back to work. It’s still a year or two off, I want the boys to be older. It’s not fair to give the girls time at home when they’re young and then just say SEE YA to the twins. Of course, if I did do that – and later they tried to guilt me? My comeback – TWINS. OUT OF MY VAGINA. TWO OF YOU. Really what else can I say? I love those little boys to bits, but I will never forget the moment of sheer terror I experienced the instant my doctor uttered what was simultaneously the most joyful and horrifying word: twins.

I can’t tell you how many papers I’ve graded where kids use emoticons, LOL, “u” – it’s infuriating! How are these kids going to get jobs if they’re essentially ‘txting’ the potential employer? While I’m on the subject of media and parenting – it drives me mad when I see parents blaming the media for the behaviour of their children. A television is not a parent. You are – raise your kids properly and they’ll be able to work hard, have love, be kind, and  sort out right and wrong for themselves.

Georgia has started learning to type.  I started at her age, so it’s quite funny to see her following suit.  We’ve got her on this old Apple IIe that we dug up from one of the labs at the university.  Desmond fixed it up and she’s been at it ever since.  I’m also quite terrified.  Suppose she tries to start a blog at the age of 6.  Just kidding! (Though, who knows what some people allow their children to do – it kills me to see Ramona’s classmates texting all the time! They’re in elementary school.  Ramona has one of those kid phones that calls only the numbers you program.  She’s in charge of making sure it… charges, ha. Every night she charges it, she gets a sticker on her chore chart.  If she forgets, she gets a star taken away.  The kids can use their stars for various ‘prizes’ – they get to pick the art project for the day, they get to plan an outing, etc.  We have a whole jar full of these activities OR they can come up with something on their own.  It’s a surprise or they get to direct an activity, which I think is great.  It brings me back to my days at camp, (Girl Scout camp, to be exact!) and girl-planning where the girls were encouraged to create their own plans in terms of activities, meals, trips, you name it.  Sometimes they got along and it went well and other times the groups just did not mix well and the ‘plan’ definitely went to the wayside.  I ate A LOT of food that was cold, cooked incorrectly, covered in ‘Camp Spice’ aka dirt and/or grass.  Still, some of the best memories.

My first blog entry, typed while breastfeeding. Finally, after FIVE kids, I become a pro at this, it took long enough! Thanks for reading and I can’t wait to meet some new people on here. Cheers!

Ramona (7) – my oldest child, she is incredibly serious, she plays the piano and loves to read. She recently discovered a talent for hockey and has been playing this winter. She is named after a childhood favourite, Ramona Quimby. Ellen Tebbits didn’t have the same ring to it! Ramona was born in New Zealand.

Hesja (5) – our beautiful daughter is a bundle of energy. She’s already scrambling up the climbing walls at the gym! Hesja was born in Vancouver, BC.

Georgia (3) – my happiest child, she is just a ray of sunshine all the time, she thinks everything is hilarious, and is a budding artist who often uses the walls as a canvas if I turn my eye for even a second. Georgia was born in Nice, France.

Emerson & Cooper (14 months) – My husband was ECSTATIC that we finally got boys. I was SHOCKED – when I got pregnant, when I went in for the ultrasound and found out we were having TWINS. MADNESS. FIVE CHILDREN AT THE AGE OF 30. ARE YOU NUTS? So now we have five. Emerson and Coop make our family complete. They are very different, but already I notice that they don’t like to be separated, even if it’s just in another room for a moment. LOTS OF MISCHIEF is going to ensue, I think. My hands will be full (as though they aren’t already, who am I kidding?! It’s a hoot though.) Em is the boss and Coop is everybody’s friend. Coop is really sensitive. If he even thinks he’s hurt you or bumped you, he gets all concerned. It’s so cute!
Five babies later – and now our family is complete. The day after I gave birth, Des went and got snipped. OK, maybe it wasn’t the day after – certainly the week after. I just delivered twins, I think you can get a minimally invasive procedure to ensure I NEVER HAVE TO DO THAT AGAIN.